Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
