we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
