So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
