There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I am full of burrito and curiosity
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
