My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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