remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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