I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
