yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
