His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize