i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
