would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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