I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
