Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My bed smells like the plague
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
