Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
