I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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