so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
