You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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