ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Randomize
