keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
