yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
