just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm like, not good at living.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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