btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
