Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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