Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
