girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
