Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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