I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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