we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
