You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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