There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
