So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
