Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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