he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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