Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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