I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
