Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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