I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
