If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think my fart just growled at me.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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