Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
