have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
