Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
