people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
