There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
we should paint friendship bongs
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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