I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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