Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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