I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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