I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
