Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
