So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
