I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
