Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
