i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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