Got a toothbrush?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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