Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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