My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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