I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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