White coat. Heels.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
