we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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