Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
