Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
