woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
