Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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